Chiang Mai - Lanna, Ladies and Lizards

Cheap Choo-Choo

Theo was overjoyed on the train to Chiang Mai, as we bounced along in third class he joyfully worked out that the amount we had paid for the eight hour journey was equal to a single young persons ticket from Cardiff Central to Penarth. We watched as the paddy fields turned to dense foliage and the flat plains to distant peaks. Outside the windows alien birds and butterflies in outlandish colours fluttered past.
Another interesting thing we spotted was the small local train stations. In the remote hillsides tiny ramshackle towns of wooden houses are barely visible among the trees and yet their train stations are smart little affairs with potted plants, beautiful shaded waiting areas and water features. Each one has a smartly dressed guard pulling old-fashioned levers like a mad man and, of course, a vast portrait of the king.

Monk-ey Business

Now sit tight for this blog post because it's going to be a whistle stop tour. Chiang Mai was tourist central for us and I've got a lot to cram in.
Chaing Mai, heart of the old Lanna kingdom, is a bit of a tourist hub, especially in the walled old city where most of the sights can be found. Steeped in trading history and flanked by the southern most tips of the Himalayas the city is second in size in Thailand only to Bangkok and is overrun with McDonalds, Starbucks and Tesco Lotus (Lotus?). However, it is still possible to find some quiet side streets where some Thai ladies will be cooking up their delicious street food. The old city isn't nearly as old looking as I expected it to be, no cobbled streets or wonky alleyways, but it's still got its own busy Thai charm and it is a fantastic place to be a tourist.
First stop, as with any Thai city, is the wats. There are so many in Chiang Mai that we went with Lonely Planet's top three, Wat Phra Singh, Wat Phra Tao and Wat Chedi Luang.
Phra Singh is the city's resident gaudy affair. It's a complex of gilt buildings and sweeping roofs. Dotted all over there were shrines filled with frighteningly life-like monk statues that made Madame Tussaud's look like a four year old with play-dough. Honestly these things are so life-like when I first saw one I didn't want to stand and stare for too long because I thought it was an actual monk in meditation.
Phra Tao was an altogether different temple, made largely from teak and all shady and solemn this temple had the meditative charm lost in many touristy places.

Chedi Luang

For us Chedi Luang was by far the best of the three, not for the temple itself but for the vast ruined Lanna Chedi standing behind it. This huge stone construct towered over the temple and, when we were visiting, was in the process of being cleaned by a large gang of young novice monks. Garbed in their orange robes they scrambled up and down like ants to a terrifying height, sweeping the stepped layers of the Chedi and plucking out the weeds that grew in between the brick work.

Monks at Chedi Luang                                              Giraffe at Chiang Mai Zoo

Our next stop was Chiang Mai zoo. We weren't sure if we would bother, after all a zoo is a zoo everywhere in the world right? Wrong. Chiang Mai zoo is the craziest zoo you will ever visit. Something that struck us early on was that they don't seem to believe in fences. Lions, tigers, bears, you name it, they were all separated from us by a moat and a jump I wasn't entirely convinced they couldn't make if they wanted to. They had so many different animals and there were elephants everywhere. Not just in their enclosures, oh no, they were dotted all around the zoo with their keepers awaiting tourists to feed them or take rides. And that's another strange thing, you can feed pretty much any animal you fancy for about 20p. We fed the elephants and the hippos (not wholly advisable, never get that close to the inside of a hippo's mouth, they don't floss). We passed on the giraffes and the leopards, yes leopards! Health and safety seems to be a big fat zero. We also went to see a slightly disturbing seal show, where the seals jump through hoops and play basketball. For a zoo that claims to be a wildlife learning centre it certainly has some oddities.

Making Molehills out of Mountains

Really packing in the sights now, we also paid a visit to Doi Sutep. The mountain in whose shadow Chiang Mai stands, encompasses most of the Doi Sutep National Park. Being leafy and green and with some impressive waterfalls we planned to take a sorng taa-ou to the top and walk back down the main path. Starting at the summit of the mountain we climbed some uber stairs lined with market stalls and vast gilt dragons to the temple. The stairs are supposed to form part of a meditation but it was all I could do to keep breathing on the way up, let alone focus the mind.
Gleaming gold so brightly it can be seen from the city below the temple is a little over the top but still a pleasant place to walk around. Famous for its gold plated Chedi it was packed full of tourists brandishing incense sticks and touts selling photos of the acclaimed gold umbrellas. The views out over the city however were breathtaking and the temple's forest location means that there is plenty of nature to break up the shininess.
Leaving the temple, the path we had planned to take proved to be a main road, and a very busy, twisty main road, with no pavement at that. We set off hopefully, marching down the road while local drivers leaned out of their cars to point and laugh at us. In fairness we made it 9km before we gave up, stopping several times to enjoy the view, other small temples and the odd waterfall. At one viewing platform I bought ice cream served in between two slices of sweet white bread rather than cones. It was strangely delicious, and one of the few things I have ever seen Theo refuse to eat. I couldn't see the problem personally, bread good, ice-cream good, what's your beef?
Determined not to be beaten we returned to Doi Sutep the next day to complete the 3km walk off the road to the acclaimed Mon Tha Than waterfall. It was certainly worth the extra effort. Cascading down in two layers the waterfall is swift and strong but also exceedingly approachable. We scrambled around on the rocks until we were quite close and bathed our swollen feet in the freezing water.

Mon Tha Than - Doi Sutep

This Street was Made for Walking

By far the best sight, despite all these animals and waterfalls, was Chiang Mai's oddly named Sunday Walking Street. This is essentially a market, but a market that runs on both sides of the street from the East Gate of the old city to Wat Phra Singh in the West, a distance of about 1km. The market contains literally hundreds of stalls breaking off into sides streets and temples and selling a mixture of food, clothing and local crafts. It starts somewhat sedately at 4pm but by dusk it is absolutely heaving. Along the street musicians of every sort busk away like some sort of "Thailand's Got Talent". Organisations of all sorts come out to collect money and one blind old women was selling the most beautiful hand-crafted mobiles I've ever seen. Made from wicker, each one had half a dozen intricate origami cranes.
Theo and I delved right in, buying and haggling over new clothes and food. I've come to enjoy the Thai response to the absurdly lower offers of Theo's hardcore haggling. They shake their heads and laugh hysterically, which i feel lightens the mood when you're really pissing them off and usually results in us getting a pretty good deal.
One final taste of culture that we stopped for in Chiang Mai, which we definitely earned after all that walking was to Siam Massage to get a proper Thai foot massage. They pummeled our tootsies in every direction, kneading and rubbing every area with their hands, elbows and at one point a round ended stick. Foot massages here also seemed to encompass a hefty calf massage as well as lots of slapping and stretching. Finally they worked on thighs, necks, shoulders and backs, stretching and twisting our spines in all directions. Despite its vigour it was very relaxing, even for a person with ticklish feet. Top tip though, don't try to make polite hairdresser style conversation with your masseuse, their English isn't great and it just make the whole situation more awkward when they think you are trying to complain.

Ladies and Lizards

Keeping up our excellent track record with food, Chiang Mai has some of the most delicious stuff yet. Just outside our guesthouse we found a lovely old lady (L.O.L for short) who cooked up delicious cheap food in a small shop attached to her home. We went their once for lunch and every day after for a hearty breakfast. She tottered around her tiny kitchen area and cooked us up all manner of stir-fry and rice dishes. My particular favourite was her omelette and rice, while Theo would consume enough to satisfy one of the smaller hippos at the zoo.
Chiang Mai also proved to be home to the best banana pancakes yet. We found a women so devoted to covering them in chocolate sauce that she would leave no hint of the pancake underneath, just one of the many great stalls at the street market. We also pigged out on mushroom skewers, sweet pork and sticky rice, spring rolls and delicious fried banana.
The crowning glory of our visit was the acquisition of a new friend. His name was Louis and he was a tiny lizard who decided to inhabit our hotel room. We didn't mind Louis, at first, until we came home one day and found he'd invited his friend Louis II to the party. I sent Theo down to reception in search of some sort of lizard catching solution. He returned with a small Thai women, a can of anti-bug spray and a towel. What happened next was inevitable, Theo and I stood back and let the tiny woman deal with the terryfying tiny lizards. She reached up to the ceiling with the towel and Louis II promptly jumped down her shirt. Needless to say the Louis issue was never really solved.

Phew, its exhausting even typing it all out. We may not have taken full advantage of the great trekking opportunities yet but we certainly packed in an awful lot of what Chiang Mai has to offer. Like a more chilled out Bangkok, if you're only going to "do" one town in Northern Thailand, this is the place.

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Bangkok - I'm a real backpacker!

No matter how my travel blog turned out I always promised myself one thing, that I would never write it retrospectively. I don't want to write my impressions of these countries tempered with hindsight, and so with the memories of our first week already fading and losing focus it's high time I started to document them.

First let me introduce you to my traveling companion, and to paint the scene of my writing for you. When I find a computer with a memory card slot I will add a picture of Theo with his first Asian breakfast, it's very happy to see him. Theo joins me on this trip not only as my personal bodyguard (because of his impressive physique) but also as my financial adviser, tour guide and blog editor. So any errors you spot here are entirely his fault.

Culture Shock

So far on our epic two and a half month trip we have made it as far as Northern Thailand, we sit in the bar of our hotel drinking beer Chang, wilting from the heat and being periodically attacked by the mosquitoes and a murderous wasp. That's the first thing that really hits you when you step out of the airport, not the murderous wasp, the heat. Of course you know it's going to be hot, people warn you about the culture shock, the heat and the noise, but nothing can really prepare you for being hit in the face by a solid wall of heat. Suddenly every movement, every decision takes twice as much effort as it did before.

In the taxi into Bangkok we sat in silence for the whole forty minute journey, staring blankly out the window.

Bangkok looks like it has suddenly boomed into the 21st century, but the area we stayed in, Banglamphu, hasn't quite perfected it yet. There are too many people in too little space and the result in chaos.

The air is thick with the smell of pollution and the other odors of the street, all made worse by the heat. Along with hot drains and hot bodies there are the sweet aromas of ripe fruit and cooking. There is always something being boiled or fried by one of the street vendors.

Khao San Road

Over crammed shops spill out on to the pavement. A street of religious shops is lined with huge golden Buddhas and the shops themselves are piled top to bottom with colourful trinkets and bells, as well as strange buckets of essentials that look like survival kits that are apparently gift sets for monks. One man's shop was filled with random machine parts, rags and grease. It was stacked so high that he sat outside on the pavement aimlessly tinkering with a motor part.

Our first room really put us in the heart of the action. A stone's throw from Khao San road and surrounded by bars we were at the centre of backpacker territory. Our window opened on to a communal balcony that looked right out on to the street, bustling with tuk-tuks and taxis, and our air-con free room came complete with Apocalypse Now style ceiling fan.

I say our window opened on to the balcony, fell on to the balcony would be more accurate. In fact it was only the slide across mosquito net protecting us from anyone who happened to stroll out on to the balcony. Late one night, while we were lying awake listening to the soothing off key wailing of the band in the club across the road, so loud that it made the door shake, two obscenely drunk Scotsmen crashed on to the balcony and proceeded to smoke and shout almost totally unintelligibly about girls.

Our first stop in Bangkok was to check out the legendary Khao San road, Mecca for backpackers everywhere. By day it doesn't look like much, a quiet 300 yards of bars, t-shirt stands and over keen taxi drivers, at night however the transformation is incredible. All the bars jump forwards out of the shop fronts and rows of plastic chairs and tables line the street. Music blares, every sign is lit up (and there are hundreds of them) and made-up girls wave cheap drinks boards in your face. All over the road people hawk their goods, food, fake designer handbags and musical instruments that sound like frogs. On top of this, men constantly offer you tuk-tuk rides to ping pong shows and make revoltingly ominous popping noises.

Fooooooood

One of the best things about Bangkok is the food. From the moment we got there we started pigging out on the street food and by the end of our three nights we knew the best stalls. We mostly ate Pad Thai, the country's national dish, which is a simple combination of noodles, beansprouts, spring onion and some delicious combination of spices. Keen to avoid food poisoning in our first week we opted for the egg option over chicken or prawn and being more manly than I am Theo would smother his in chili.

Our second dish of choice was of course banana pancakes, or rottis. These are made from balls of rubbery, play-dough like stuff that the stall owner works into a big circle with their hands before frying in butter. While cooking they chop the fresh banana into the middle and fold the edges of the rotti over into a square before flipping. Once cooked it is drowned in chocolate sauce and condensed milk. Lose weight in Asia my foot. We ate on the plastic chairs set out by the smiley ladies working on the mobile stalls. It was amazing watching them standing over the boiling hot stalls in thirty degree heat, wearing considerably more clothes than we were. They cooked with both hands while still chatting on the phone.

What Wat?

On our third day we finally got around to doing some proper sight-seeing and walked down to Wat Phra Kaew and the Grand Palace. Phra Kaew is one of the biggest tourist attractions in Bangkok. It consists of a huge temple complex, home to the Emerald Buddha, and the former residence of the Thai monarch. The place was rammed with package tourists. We were done up in thick sarongs and shirts so as not to offend Buddists making pilgrimage to the temple and I almost died from the heat. The temple was just as over whelming as the heat. The buildings were packed in together and everything was gilded and coloured and sparkling. Every inch was gaudy and ostentatious and blinded you with its brilliance. We walked through, shoving our way through tour groups, stumbled past the Grand Palace and made our escape.

Our next stop, Wat Pho, is a smaller cousin of Phra Kaew, and it couldn't be more different. Plants and waterfalls are mixed in with the spires and endless Buddha-lined courtyards to create something far more akin with my idea of a holy place. It was quiet and sacred, until we were terrified out of our reverie by some squabbling cats. Having heard the story of the woman struck by rabies before we left we've been on red alert animal wise. What that means is that every time we see a cat or dog (which is often) Theo shouts "Rabies!" and we make hissing noises/flee. So you can imagine our response when we heard a horrific yowling and two skinny, mangy cats shot through a narrow doorway straight at us. Theo backed up against the wall and I was almost halfway up a pillar, both of us screaming "AARRRRR! RABIES!"

Once we had calmed down we went to see the main attraction of Wat Pho, the reclining Buddha. Now you can tell your brain that what you're about to see is a golden Buddha, 46m long and 15m high, but that still won't stop it making your face do goldfish impressions when you actually do.

Reclining as he enters Nirvana this Buddha barely fits in the temple, which surely must have been built around him. He is absolutely vast and just a little awe inspiring, even when you're stood next to his toes. The soles of his feet are inlaid with mother of pearl scenes of, you've guessed it, more Buddhas.

An enormous coconut

Bangkok is a strange and confusing place. Amidst the over whelming Wats and the bustling, hot, noisy street markets there is virtually no time to breathe, and yet somehow you wander from place to place at your ease, riding in tuk-tuks or sitting in the shade and drinking the cool innards of an enormous coconut.

The author - Khao San Road

In a way it is easy to be disgusted by the Bangkok the tourists have created; the western music and the cheap, strong alcohol, not to mention the very un-Thai tiny clothes on sale. There is so much going on here that is just openly illegal; people sell fake IDs and diplomas in the street while one bar has its staff wear t-shirts that say "we don't check ID cards". Everywhere the locals make their livings by supplying the demands of the debauched westerners and yet there is so much to enjoy here too. The people here are always chatting and laughing while they work. They're easy going and helpful and will always stop to wave at a child staring with wonder at their stall. It may be a little bit disheartening to see how some tourists behave but all in all Bangkok is the best place to start an adventure, to start feeling like a real backpacker.